Hardcore ZBoy Steam PC Review

Hardcore ZBoy is an astonishing level of achievement that this quality of an infinite runner could get brought here to Steam for the world to buy. As mentioned before, it’s indeed an infinite runner where you can sway left, right and jump. The game comes to corners where I assume you’re supposed to turn, but alas, no button on the controller turns so I end up scraping my zombie’s face against the wall unable to see, because the camera never turns either.

From the moment you start the game, you’re dumped onto an object that causes a game over. Oh, but you’re in luck, because this game shuffles its pieces so what might be an instant death within the first second of the game five times in a row, can be a safe, vacant street the sixth time.

Your zombie character will fall through the floor from time to time. Its interesting, because once he fell through and I was allowed to keep running and jumping as he dissipated into a white light below. Other times, the prefabricated terrain will disappear. Its quite disastrous, but disastrous so fast, there’s no waiting to see it.

If you’re here to take the game serious, the objective is to eat as many brains as possible. Well eat or collect. You touch a giant floating brain, it disappears, I assume they are kept in a pocket inside the zombie’s body in one way or another. The game shows your record and by record I mean your distance. An actual record would be keeping track of a previous distance so you can compare this distance to your record of longest distance. Leaderbaords would have been nice, but I hear I should review the game for what it is, rather than what it should be.

For anyone wondering how could this developer make such a similar game to other developers, there is an official video tutorial somewhere explaining how to make this exact infinite runner. Then I assume the assets get dumped in. The problem here is there’s no twist to make it the developer’s own. Plus the actual tutorial works better than this.

The trailer lets you know what you’re in store for, but if you’re blind or reading this review without bothering to look at the game, I hope you can tell the level of quality. SteamDirect made its money and chances are Hardcore ZBoy could become legendarily bad, but the problem is, it’s bad in the first second. It’s bad before you get into the game, because the trailer is bad and the menu options are bad and patched together using text boxes. Sure you can make an entire game and a company logo, but you can’t muster the user interface to be better? There’s no bad that keeps coming, you’ve seen its flaws in the trailer and from the instant you start playing. Its one of those games that’s so bad, people will be angry at Steam for swindling this developer’s money via SteamDirect.

The bottom line here is no achievements, no cards, no leaderboards, no turning at turns and in general no fun. Every minor thing that would bolster a game’s check boxes fails to be here. Hardcore ZBoy avoids mediocrity of the middle ground that is so-so and hits the mark of a terrible game with gusto. It’s one of those games so bad that it made me jealous to read my friend’s review and I thought oh now this I need to play!

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