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Parody Garfield Kart Review

Once upon a time there was this orange cat that ripped off Heathcliff like nobody’s business. Then it got its own movie starring Bill Murray in a catsuit, which was funny because Bill played Pete from the Ghostbusters. Then when the Ghostbusters had a cartoon show, the voice of Garfield’s cartoon show was also the voice of Pete. No one liked the movie, not even with Jennifer Love Hewitt in it and she can sell icecream to a dying man in the arctic who has no mouth or hands and he’s trapped in a block of ice.

So with Heathfield’s popularity it was only a matter of time before he got his own video game. Sure he had other video games, but this one would be good. The one to compete against the greatest kart racing game in existence, Crash Team Racing on the PS1. The men that forged this game would need the ultimate engine to play the game on that would power the game across several different platforms such as mobile devices, the 3DS and the PC itself. That game engine is Unity 3D, the engine used by other popular games like Walden and the Werewolf!

Once they had their game, they filled it with food items. Candy for weapons that consist of pies, lasagna and pillows. We’ve all had that dream where we’re eating a really big marsh mellow and when we wake up there’s no pillow on the bed and we burp feathers. This will be that game. A game so thrilling that the pillow will put all the other drivers to sleep, letting us slip by unnoticed. Lasagna will be made of nuclear energy that will let us boost ahead.

I say let us this and let us that meaning you. The buyer of this game. You will be that us, because there’s no multiplayer in this game coop or otherwise. I mean online or local. That’s what I mean.

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Garfield Kart will be a great game for kids. All children love Garfield and they have since he was invented way back in 1910. A game so great for kids that powersliding becomes a tough as nails art to master and necessary for survival in 100 CC races because 50 CC is so dull and slow I found myself dozing with every turn before someone hit me with a diamond. I’m looking at you Odie…

Eight characters have been shoveled into this masterpiece that I put now with my wallet photo of Mona Lisa. Classics like Jen, who is someone’s girlfriend. I assume played by Jennifer Love Hewitt, who becomes the most overpowered character in the game as ever man, woman and cat stares her way as she drives by using perfume and lust as a weapon, jumping over bridges, rolling over hills, slamming down on the dirt roads that you will drive over again and again on your way to victory over those that compete for Jen’s love.

This game is great because it incorporates two control schemes people love at the same time. There is a mouse control scheme for the menu and a 360 controls for the driving, but not 360 controls for the menu or mouse controls for the driving. This lets me get my third hand playing the game as well. The game has the controls backward when displaying the tutorial. The left trigger goes backward, the right trigger goes forward. Its all part of the challenge the game brings. There are two buttons for forward attacking and behind attacking too, but there’s only one button for hopping when it could have been hopping left or hopping right like Super Mario Kart had twenty years ago.

The sixteen tracks are all fun and interesting. Four of them take place at the airport. Another few take place in egypt, some are in the snow with snowmen and pine trees. Others take place on a farm where cows live, but there are no cows, because Garfield loves to eat things. That is why there are no cows. Garfield and other characters have eaten so much that they are the same size and height as Jon who is a human, but Garfield is Bill Murray. Odie is played by Rhea Pearlman (great aunt of Ron Pearlman and Danny DiVito’s wife) and Sheldon (Cooper?) in this game and it must have cost a lot of money to get the celebrity voice acting. I’m just kidding there isn’t celebrity voice acting, just bad voice acting that you get to hear a lot.

Before each race you get to buy what cheats you want to use. These cheats cost money, but not micropayments. Instead you need to grind for the cash you need to buy stuff. Playing the same races over and over before you can buy that chick magnet car you always wanted, but Nermal drives. Cheats really help you compete in the 155 CC races so you can finish in 6th and final place a few seconds less than you would normally.

This game comes with a stop watch, because during the races, they don’t keep time for you. You need to do that yourself. With a stop watch. I then write down my best times for the grand prix mode so I have them always. There is a time trial, but why would I ever use that to keep track of time when I’m only racing against a UFO? That’s right Garfield Kart has UFOs and so many of them that they should be identified by now. You race against one in the time trial, which makes it more of a race with an actual time instead of the real races with no time. Then you also find them in the real races as a way to crash the first place racer, so its always best to be in second place until the end, where winning matters. You play to win.

I will recommend it to all my friends no matter what their age. We all know and love Garfield. He is the best cat and Felix would end up in 6th place if he raced Garfield, because Garfield can drive a truck in this game but Felix can just sack race. Garfield is a great game and will continue to be the standard bearer for Bill Murray and Jennifer Love Hewitt games. Someone should make a sequel with Alvin & the Chipmunks.

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