Saints Row: The Third Blog (comical adult only situations vs parody)

I spent time playing Saints Row IV, since it was a free weekend on Steam. I would actually buy it for the $5 it always bottoms out at, but I’m still holding to my resolution that “I will not spend money on gaming in 2015.” Its getting painful not to. I’ve already seen two deals that I must have, but I need to stick with it to prove that I can. Sure these deals will probably happen again, but they might not.

Now that the free weekend has ended (on Sunday afternoon), I am back to playing the games I already own. So I dusted off my Steam version of Saints Row: The Third. I already have gone through the game on PSN and it looks like I went through three hours of it on Steam. It also looks like I own a ton of DLC for it. I’ve got tanks and far too many things that I just won’t use.

Right off the bat, I notice that it just doesn’t perform as well against Saints Row IV. It seems slower, so I had to lower the specs. It took quite a while to find the sweet spot. It is interesting though, because the city is the same. Its on the same platforms, PS3 and X-Box 360, I’d assume it would run the same. Well apparently someone over there optimized it after THQ went out of business.

Its odd traveling by car again. It feels like your average open world over the shoulder shooter. Cops, cars and shooting. Instead of Saints Row IV which is aliens, running and jumping. Both games feel different, even if they use the same map. I’ve recognized places again. Streets that I fought bosses on. Businesses that I had to hack into on Saints Row IV, I now had to buy with money instead. It just seems less fun buying things for money.

The game itself seems over sexual. Like its real comedy is based on sexual craziness and not parody like Saints Row IV. There are things like saving prostitutes from crates. Liberating a pimp’s hookers rather than liberating the entire planet like Saints Row IV. I just prefer Saints Row IV, but again, this one is still a lot of fun. I was able to blow through four hours in a single sitting.

Replaying Saints Row: The Third, it feels like a breeze even on medium difficulty. The main missions are still long and offer a lot of variety, but unless its a boss, there’s no challenge. There is still fun, but maybe I should play on a higher difficulty setting. One thing I notice for sure is there are so many missions that need your crew. In Saints Row IV it felt like you’re paired up with one person at a time with Kinzi as the voice in your head.

Speaking of voices, I also noticed that Hulk Hogan’s lent his voice to the game as an unconventional trainer. For how the character looks, I’d say it was a miscast. Its great they got Hogan, but they could have made the character look like the Hulkster’s voice would be coming out of his mouth.

The first mission he sends you on is a rag doll insurance fraud mini game. I hate to say it, but its a lot of silly fun. Running up to cars and rag dolling into them and watching your score go up. Lucky that I didn’t have to pay $10 and call it Goat Simulator. The second mission has you driving on a flaming four wheeler through checkpoints. Cars next to you explode and it didn’t seem that silly, in fact it seemed pointless just being lit on fire. I didn’t have to catch anything else on fire, just make it through the checkpoints before I burned to death.

Finally, he has you drive around a tiger. Why a tiger? So you can get courage! There’s a meter between the tiger rage and your anger. Crash into things, the tiger gets angry, don’t crash into things and you very slowly gain courage. All while being chased by news vans trying to get a picture. I wish I could have gotten a better photo of the tiger in the car.

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