19 Real Life things that I Learned from the Original Legend of Zelda

I started replaying the first Zelda for the original Nintendo to review it. It felt so relaxing compared to the games I force myself to play now. While roaming through the Hyrulian woods and climbing Death Mountain, I began to realize that I’ve learned some real life things from the Original Zelda.

Go hiking alone by yourself.

America is about freedom. Do what you want to do. Someone else will just hold you back and make you do what they want to do. Go it alone! Even if its dangerous to go alone!

Burn down trees, especially in forests.

How else will you find secret passages?

Eat the hearts of dead animals.

Food is food. Don’t be afraid, it gives you health and keeps you strong. We’re at the top of the food chain for a reason.

Take gifts from creepy old men that live in caves.

A gift is a gift. When you’re on your own, you need to take what you can get!
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Bathe with fairies that swim in swamps.
Its fun to experiment, you never know what will happen when you walk up to a strange situation. Nothing bad ever happens.

Go to cemeteries and knock over tombstones.

Sure the ghosts are just there to scare you away. I’m not afraid anymore.

People will pay you to keep secrets.

Some might call it blackmail, well not if its their idea!
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People get angry when you bomb their homes.
No joke! So don’t do it!

Boomerangs really work!

Not only do they work, but they bring you back stuff.

Show elderly women how truly ugly they are by carrying around a mirror.

If it doesn’t work blame it on a creepy old man!
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Carry around everything you own while walking through bad areas.
We all need something at some time or another. Most of us carry our phone everywhere, why not everything else?

Shields are magic because storekeepers tell you so.

100% All Natural. Healthy! Gluten Free!

Always stab soldiers in the back so they don’t see it coming.

Anyone find it interesting a boy is killing all of these knights? Is he really the hero?
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Yell at people with big ears to make them go away.
YO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey you big ears! I hear it only works in Japan though.

I can meet old men at grave sites.

That’s what people tell me at least. Probably picking out a plot for themselves.

Gamble with strangers.

Three card Monte anyone?
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Always bring bombs. You’ll always manage to find an animal hungry enough to eat them.
Zoo keepers know this quite well.

Its healthy to chase around petite women that run from you.

I see it all the time at bars. Women give men strength!

A raft can go across a lake, but not a canal you can probably jump over.

Word.

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